King Billy: Herald Chief Sports Writer Bill Richards on the hot topics in world sport
AND then there was none, with Arsenal ending all British teams' interest in Europe's Champions League, as if in a script endorsed by UKIP.
The Gunners have followed Manchester United – as they have done all season and presumably will do for the foreseeable future – out of the Champions League.
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BEMUSED: Shaun Reid
And now they can scratch and bite for the chance to finish in the top four and do exactly the same next year.
Winning 2-0 at Bayern Munich in midweek, having lost 3-1 at the Emirates in the first leg, is better, but nowhere near the redemption that some are claiming.
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Anyone, other than the blinkered, who watched Barcelona, like Arsenal in indifferent form in their domestic league and trailing by two goals from the first leg, outclass a very good AC Milan on Tuesday will recognise the gulf in class between our top teams and their counterparts, notably in Spain and Germany.
So, for the first time since 1996 there will be no British presence in the last eight of the European Cup.
That still leaves us rich in quality as Barca, Real Madrid, Juventus and Bayern are all capable of winning the trophy, lifted by Chelsea last year.
Chelsea fans have too much on their plate – including the Europa League – moaning about manager Rafa Benitez to reflect at length on their woeful performances in the Champions League.
However, I note Manchester United supporters – and what a range of accents they all have, marvellous, really – are still bemoaning their lot over Nani's sending off against Real, on radio phone-ins, where the presenter isn't quick enough to cut them off.
I AGREE footballers are their own worst enemies when it comes to feigning injuries and bearing grudges: the boy who cried wolf too many times and all that, but a recent incident that came to my attention pales the incident whiter than a Real Madrid replica kit.
You'll remember Shaun Reid, brother of former England international and ex manager of the Pilgrims, Peter Reid, who came down and briefly helped with the coaching in Plymouth.
Shaun, who is now the manager of Warrington Town, witnessed what can only be described as a prospective film script for Quentin Tarantino, while watching a Sunday League match on Merseyside.
The 47-year-old Shaun, like bro Peter, is not a man to be easily fazed but was clearly shocked at what he witnessed, while watching a nearby match on one of the pitches in Kirkby.
When the endgame is a man being run over by a car on the pitch and the police called to prevent further mayhem, I'm sure you'll agree it's not the usual definition of 'clash' in grassroots footie.
Shaun, without a hint of irony, described the action, thus: "I've seen one man with a hammer, one with a screwdriver.
"A car comes from nowhere and hits him on the bonnet, he went up in the air and landed on the windscreen.
"It was basically chaos, people chasing each other and fighting, I've never seen anything like that (before)."
Hmm, maybe, not Shaun, but all I can say is don't tempt fortune by jumping the queue at Lofty's kebab shop at the Elephant and Castle, any time soon.
NOT TO be outdone, on-field controversy hit American baseball, although it's fair to say that no-one went home with so much as a bloody nose, but one left with a red face.
The incident concerns ball girl Priscilla Daughtry, who accidently picked up a ball that was still in play during the recent Philadelphia Phillies versus Tampa Bay Rays pre-season friendly in Florida.
Priscilla works as a waitress for restaurant chain, Hooters, renowned for using exclusively young, female waitresses squeezed into tight, low-cut tops, but also provide ball girls for the televised Spring training matches.
"I was just thinking that I need to catch it and it was coming straight toward me," said the blonde bungler of the moment she gained national notoriety.
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