Raffle prizes that take the biscuit

I RAN into the Lottery legend that is Mike Antonucci last weekend. We were both at a charity barn dance.

I danced, he didn't! It was yet another bash which ended with a raffle ticket book being shoved up my nose and once again I sat there knowing that my numbers would never come out of the hat, but bought a wad of tickets anyway.

I was just about to remark to Mike that I have never won anything and that some people never do… but then decided not to start that conversation with him!

As the prizes went to every other table but mine I suddenly became aware of a roar of laughter.

Hair-free Mike had won! A shampoo, cut and blow dry! Ironic!

It's like me winning a tin of biscuits. Mike put the prize back in and promptly won it again.

More laughter! Two tickets later… I won a tin of biscuits.

Auctions and raffles are great for embarrassing situations and unexpected laughs.

Only last year I had to auction five straws of bull semen. Let's face it, that could only happen in the West Country!

Last month there was limo for a weekend as a prize but it was donated by a local undertakers.

The card said that it seated six… I assumed five sitting and one stretched out.

Over the years I have handed over a weekend in Rome to a Carlo Giacomo who was not impressed and half a pig to a vegetarian lady who also turned out to be Jewish anyway.

On a slightly grander scale, I will always remember the moment a great friend of mine from Dubai went on a television game show and won a sun bed. The presenter was lost for words, the producer kept apologising and the researcher ended up working on Songs of Praise… that taught him! Still, it was great to have met you Mike and as Christmas charity bashes approach, I expect to see a lot more of you, raffle tickets in hand.

In that vein, does anyone know who won the Euro Millions lottery? It was the roll over of about £100 million wasn't it? It's not for the begging letters; I just want to know which bank they have stuck the money in? Whichever it is….. might have an evens chance of surviving until next weekend and those are pretty good odds in today's financial market!

Speaking of which, I have approached my local bookie to see if he would start taking money on which is the next to go belly up. Trust me, Honest Pete could earn you some serious cash and let's face it, it's not as reckless as say… taking out a pension or applying for a mortgage. (If you are under 28, ask your parents what a mortgage was!)

So a pretty busy and fun packed weekend which ended with me passing a hand made banner outside a hotel in Teignmouth.

The owner had obviously gambled on the weather and lost, as part of the lettering had come away and it now read Bridal and We lding Fayre.

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