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Search forWhy my hubby won't be an extra
Monday, August 11, 2008, 07:20
Imagine not being able to sneak a crafty bar of chocolate at my local newsagent for fear of being caught popping the last chunk into my mouth as I round the corner. I'd wake up the next morning to 'Star Pigs Out', or 'Bulimia Babe Bray' headlines, and a swift slap across the wrist from my agent.
Neither do I understand the frenetic excitement that follows the appearance of someone 'famous' in a familiar place, and have never really understood why actors are deemed so much more vital , dazzling and useful than my plumber. Maybe I just realise who is more important in a crisis.
But fame – and the famous – are obviously more important to most Plymothians than I realised, because last week more than 1,000 hopefuls from Plymouth and beyond turned up to audition as extras for the newest Disney film: Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland.
The queue in itself was a wonder, snaking for several hundred metres and resembling the kind of line-up created by those waiting to see a film rather than appear in one. It was made up mostly of young people – predominantly girls. Some were dressed for the event; others looked as if they'd just turned up on the spur of the moment, as if popping out for a film role was little more than popping out for a pint of milk. There were a few older people amongst the bright young things, some looking like seasoned pros, others bewildered, as if they'd gone out intending to buy cod and chips, had inadvertently stepped into the wrong queue, but thought they might as well stay anyway.
Few of those waiting saw the proposed pay (£100-a-day) as a priority, and even less seemed aware of the 15 working days or the endless waiting around for moments of 'action', should they be successful. Most were attracted largely by the opportunity to be on a film set. To be a small part of a big production and possibly – just possibly – getting a chance to meet a movie star or two.
There were clear specifics for selection: natural hair colour, no fringes, and not even a gleam of a tan. But one budding extra deserved a role just because of his wit and experience. As The Herald reported last week, Keith Feltham, 67, a former vicar from Woolwell, said: "Tim Burton's films are always very creative… and I am used to standing up in front of people."
He'd probably even bring his own cassock.
It was great that this movie-mania livened up what was a grey and dreary week. My family wasn't part of it, however. The kids were too busy for fame and my husband gets star-struck just spotting someone famous, let alone working alongside them. One of his more memorable utterances even provided one of the minor embarrassing moments in our marriage.
It happened 15 years or so ago in The Bear Hotel in Woodstock. There we were happily enjoying a meal when actress Eleanor Bron and the late Peter Cook walked into the restaurant and were given a table adjacent to ours. I noticed them and was about to mention discretely and gently to my husband that these two notables had arrived and it might be best if he didn't notice the fact too obviously and so spoil their evening. But it was too late. He turned round, spotted Peter Cook standing mere inches away and said, in a loud and excited voice, 'Ooh! Look! There's Peter Cook.' It was then that I wished the tablecloth on our table for two had been floor length. I would have disappeared underneath it. Needless to say Ms Bron and her companion weren't in the mood for a witty response and didn't stay long – all of about ten seconds in fact.
In retrospect, I wonder if said husband should have been in the line last week. Appearing as an extra would have been a bit of a break from accountancy and he could have rubbed shoulders with equally star struck hopefuls. Come to think of it his acting skills aren't bad either: he was brilliant at pretending he was asleep when the kids used to howl in the middle of the night and once played an acclaimed starring role as Mr. Silly. But the 250 have been chosen by now, and Alice in Wonderland is scheduled for filming during in the last two weeks of September at currently undisclosed nearby locations.
When it's finally released, look out for ex-clergyman Keith, the one who's "used to standing up in front of people". I'm sure he'll be a star. And unlike me and my husband, fame obviously won't bother him a bit.
P.S. Aa few weeks ago I wrote a horror about a couple of trips on First Great Western, journeys which prompted me to ask the company exactly what customer service was. Well, they've shown me. They listened to my complaints and responded with an apology, helpfulness, generosity and grace. Having shared the negative, I must also share the positive: so thank you FGW.
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